W.A.L.T: Write a narrative
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when….
- The title is suitable for the text.
- The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
- The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
- The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
- Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.
In Ako Ngatahi we had to write a narrative about a video. It was about a boy opening a present that was a dog with three legs. Here is the video of the present. I hope you enjoy my story.
The present
I was playing my video games “boom, boom, bang, bang” it went. Knock, knock. My mum was home.
“Hi Mum” I said.
“Please turn that down and I got a present for you”.
“Put it in my way mum”.
“Open it”.
“Ok”.
Rip, rip. A puppy!
“Thanks mum”.
I picked it up.”Yuck, it’s got a broken leg”.
Woof, woof.
I throw it away. It found a red ball. It ran at the cupboard. Ouch! Then it grabbed the ball and ran over to me with the ball. I kicked it into the box. The dog ran to the box and it fell on top of the dog and it walked around in the box. Then it finally found its way out then put the ball in it’s mouth then walked over to me and dropped the ball. I thought I will go outside and play with it so I grabbed the ball and put it in my pocket and got my crutches and said to mum “We will be outside I opened the door a we bit and the dog did some then we went outside. I wish I went out sooner. My dog is just like me. We are going to be good friends.
Quaid, you have used good dialogue and onomatopoeia to present your orientation and the complication. You could have described the pup in more detail and given more examples of how the pup's character made the boy like him. You could have explained further that you were missing part of your leg. I enjoyed your resolution in the final two sentence. Keep working hard in writing.
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